Loving You
by For Those With a Broken Heart
Summary: Sesshomaru and Kagome fall in love. Only Kagome doesn't know who she's fallen in love with. The day she finds out something happens that could ruin the whold relationship. WARNING: RAPE! SesshoKag
1. Chapter 1

Loving You!

By Jamie Day 

Chapter 1

Don't own Inuyasha

Kagome walked quietly through the forest. She wondered often, just like now, about Inuyasha and his brother, Sesshomaru. Why are they always fighting? What could cause that much pain between brothers?

Kagome started humming verses of the song "Butterfly" as she walked. Hearing something in the distance she decided to check it out to make sure it wasn't a wounded animal or anything. She hoped it wasn't some poor animal somewhere. Just the other day I saw this amazingly beautiful bird get killed by a cat youkai. It was horrible!

However, what Kagome stumbled upon was definitely no a wounded animal. She stood transfixed as she watched Inuyasha talk to Kikyo without really hearing what was being said. Then she watched in surprised horror as the one she had once believed herself in love with lowered his head to kiss the one who shares her soul. What betrayal! I can't believe this is happening.

She turned and walked slowly away from the scene. She wanted nothing more at that moment then to run away but her legs wouldn't work. As a matter of fact, nothing seemed to want to work. She just wanted to lay down somewhere and pretend to be dead until some powerful youkai decides to come by and grant her wish. That's how she decided what to do.

She walked further and further into the forest. Suddenly she found a tree and just fell against it. She pressed a hand against the tree as she slid her back down the hard bark until she was sitting at the bottom of the tree. Then she spoke. "Strong tree…how can you stand all the heartache that you see in all your many years of life?"

Then something happened that she never expected. The tree appeared to be talking back. "Yes, I have seen many years of heartache and yet I have also seen many years of happiness. I have seen what it is to be happy and what it is to be in love and I have seen all the things love can bring to a person, the good and the bad."

Now Kagome was truly curious. After her start she realized that the tree could not talk and so it would have to be someone else. "Who are you?" She asked this question shy, almost even fearful. She didn't understand what was happening. It was too much at one time.

"I cannot tell you that now. Perhaps another time when you are more trusting of me and you know me for whom I am. Then maybe you will understand. For now just know that I am here to protect you."

"I don't understand. It's all too confusing." She looked around herself, trying to find out whom she was talking about because frankly she was starting to scare herself. What is happening?

"I told you. I will tell you my identity another time but for now just be content to know that I am here to protect you and I will always be there for you." The voice sounded familiar but not familiar enough to place a name on it.

She finally gave up trying to understand it but instead she accepted it with comfort. "How will you know if I need your help?"

"Whenever you need me I will be here. All you have to do is call on me." He said. She thought about his words.

"But I don't even know your name." She said.

"You don't need to. If you ever call out for me, no matter what you say, I will know if it is me you call out for or someone else."

"Thank you." She thought again. "Will you be here again tomorrow?"

"I will be here whenever you need me."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Don't own Inuyasha

And so it went on for about six months until…

One day while walking to the spot where she always talked with HIM she realized that over the last six months she had come to care for and cherish the sound of that voice and even the person that possesses the voice.

Once she reached the spot Kagome called out as she always did. "Please come visit with me…I need you." She waited but received no response. "Hello?"

Finally she heard something in the bushes behind her. "Kagome, I can't talk with you today." She heard him say hoarsely. She could hear harsh breathing in the background.

"I don't understand. Why can't you talk to me?" She was very confused.

"Kagome, I think it's time you find out who I am. That might help me to explain why I can't talk with you today. My name, Kagome, is Sesshomaru."

She gasped. All this time and the one who has been offering me comfort and friendship was Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru showed himself at that point in time and Kagome couldn't even remember his brother coming anywhere close to this kind of elegant beauty. "There is not a lot of time to talk. You know how my brother will turn human on nights when there is a full moon?" He waited until she nodded so he knew she was listening. "Well, I do much worse. I stay in my regular form but my spirit becomes that of the monstrous demon inside me. If you don't get away from here soon I don't know what I would do to you…I might kill you."

Suddenly Kagome watched as he doubled over in pain as the muscles in his jaw worked rhythmically. "GO! Run! Get away from me now, Kagome, before I change completely!!" Kagome couldn't believe her eyes. She turned though and, like he said, ran for dear life. Not long after she heard him start to give chase.

Kagome ran as fast as she could but she was far away from camp and she didn't want him to find her friends in the camp so she turned a 90 degree angle and ran in a different direction. She looked behind her when she heard a loud crash behind her. Sesshomaru, her savior, her companion, her guardian angel, was gaining on her, and his thoughts were not of being her friend.

She cried out and tried to run faster but she tripped over a log and twisted her ankle. Laying helplessly on the ground the only thing she could do was beg him. She was at his mercy now. "Please, Sessho. Please. Don't hurt me. I'm your friend remember? You even tried to warn me today by telling me what happens to you."

He stepped closer to her. He smelled her and his eyes closed for a moment before he whispered, almost to quiet for even her to hear, "You're in heat. Dear gods, you're in heat." She knew what he meant. She closed her eyes and cursed. Sessho's demon instincts took over him fully in that moment.

He pushed her down on the ground and started to kiss her. Softly at first and then more fiercely and with more passion. "No. Not like this. You don't even know what you're doing. I think I've fallen in love with you, Sesshomaru. Please don't do this. I couldn't bare it if my first time was with you when you don't even know what you're doing."

He gave a dry laugh while he took her clothes off faster than she could blink. "But I do know what I'm doing, little one. I do know. And I'm enjoying it immensely." He didn't even bother with getting her ready. His demon side was ready to rut and that was that. He took his clothes off as fast as he had dispensed with her own and he settled between her thighs.

He entered her slowly but when he felt her maidenhead and knew that he was her first he went out of control. He was fast and hard in her. Moving over and over again to his own beat. She cried but could not help but feel the pleasure. She cried _because_ she could not help but feel the pleasure. Was it sinful to feel pleasure even though she knew what he was doing was wrong?

She hated this. She hated the way it made her feel. This was rape. She loved this. She loved the way it made her feel. She was a willing partner. She didn't know what she thought. She only knew that she was sorry he was in his demon form the first time.

It hurt her only because he hadn't prepared her for him but just when she thought she would be torn in two by the pain his pleasure was released and he reached his pinnacle of desire. "Please, Sessho, stop it. Gods, it hurts." She gasped, her voice muffled from having her face pressed into his chest, trying to hide her tears. "Sessho, I don't think I can stand it anymore. It hurts so bad." After two or three harder, fiercer thrusts he fell to her side completely spent. She turned to her side and cried. He was still in his demon form but his demon would not hunt tonight.

A demon had two ways to release energy. Hunting and rutting. And he had obviously chosen the latter. Kagome, sure that he would treat her like a bitch dog, got up and pulled her clothes back on and into place before walking silently away without looking at him or saying anything. And he let her. It didn't matter to him at the moment anyway.

The next day as Sesshomaru woke up, naked, in the middle of a huge field he looked around, wondering why he was there. Then he remembered just how he had got there and what had happened. _Gods! No!_

He howled out all his anguish. She would never trust him now. He had finally told her who he was in hopes that she would trust him enough not to run from him and then he had chased her down and raped her. "Kagome, no. I'm so sorry." He whispered. As the memory flashed through his head he remembered how she could do nothing but press her head into his chest, crying, and say that it hurt. He was the one that had hurt her.

_What a monster I am…_ He thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Don't own Inuyasha

Kagome sat at the campfire the next morning trying not to show everyone how sore she really felt. It was hard just to walk this morning. When she looked back on the night before she could do nothing but shudder and cry. She had to dismiss herself. NOW! Everyone was going to find out if she stayed there with all of them. She couldn't let them know.

All of them already hated Sessho but if they knew what he had done they would think of him as a monster. She had thought of him the same way when she had woken up. However, after thinking about it for a long time she decided that he was not a monster. It was not his fault. He tried to warn her.

Thinking back on it though she almost wished that he had killed her instead. Things were so hard for her. She was almost never allowed to see her family. She was failing her school because she was here so often. Inuyasha treated her like nothing more than a shard collector. She had fallen in love with someone she didn't even know…and now this…

_It was too hard._ She thought suddenly. If he couldn't help her by doing it then she would have to take care of it herself. "Um…guys…" Everyone looked up at her. "I'm going to go for a walk and then a bath…" When Sango looked as though she would propose to go with her Kagome finished, "…alone."

At this everyone nodded and resumed talking around the fire. _Look at them. They're so oblivious. They just think I'll be back in an hour. Well, they're wrong. I'll never be back. I'll never have to worry about my life anymore. I'll be free!_ She grabbed her stuff so they wouldn't get suspicious and walked off into the forest around them.

When she reached the hot springs she wondered how she would do it. There were so many ways to end one's life. Which way should she choose? She would drown herself. She decided.

She stripped down to nothing but her under things and then walked slowly into the water. She was shaking so hard she could see ripples move away from her legs when she stopped and just stood there.

Unknown to her someone watched her from the deep shadows. _What is my woman planning on doing?_ He paused. _Wait; did I just call her my woman? Yes, yes, I did. That's who she is. She's MY woman!_

She was more scared than she thought she would be. She had to do it now before she lost what little courage she still had with her. She grabbed a huge rock and just sat there with it in her hands. This is what she would use to keep her at the bottom. This is what would help the water suck the air from her lungs.

Suddenly she dived into the water. It was now or never and she wanted this more at the moment than anything else. Except to be loved. Gods, she wanted to be loved. She had thought that she was loved until Sessho had proved her wrong. She had thought _he_ loved her.

At that moment, with the rock in her hands, at the bottom of the lake, she started fighting for breath. Breathing in the water she wondered what Sesshomaru was doing at precisely that moment. What he was thinking about right then. _Would he even miss her?_

Just when she felt as though she would pass out at any second the rock was ripped from her grasp and someone grabbed her around the waist. She felt smooth lips pressed to hers as she felt someone blowing their own breathe into her hopeful lungs.

Just as quickly she was moving toward the surface of the water. She had no energy to kick her legs. She could only hang limp in the arms surrounding her, wishing they would let her go. She had come so close. _Why? Why couldn't they just leave me be? No one loves me anyway. No one would miss me?_

Coming to the surface Sesshomaru walked to the shore and sat her down in his lap. Tilting her head back he moved the hair out of her eyes. Knowing that somehow he had to get the water out of her lungs he laid he down on the grassy edge he rolled Kagome onto her back and started to push on her back where her lungs were located.

He repeated this until he was fairly certain that all the water was out of her lungs. Taking her precious body back into his arms he held her close to him. For the first time in his life Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, cried. Holding his love close in his arms the immensity of what he had done to her hit him and before he knew what was happening he tightened his hold on her as deep, aching sobs wracked his body.

Realizing who it was Kagome was stunned. "Sessho?" She whispered. "Why did you come after me?" She asked. She was so tired. She couldn't fall asleep yet though. He was going to answer her. Kagome had to hear the answer.

"Because I love you, Kagome." He said between sobs. "You're my woman. I don't want to lose you." He buried his face in her neck. "Dear Gods, I don't want to lose you." He looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm so sorry!"

Kagome smiled with heavy-lidded eyes and stroked his hair in a very loving way. "I love you, too, Sessho. Very much. And I forgive you."

Kagome passed out then but, to Sesshomaru's utter disbelief, she had a small smile on her face. _I'm loved! He really loves me! He's really sorry and he loves me!_ These were the last things to run through Kagome's head before she lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Don't own Inuyasha

The next morning she woke up feeling warm and content. She snuggled closer to the warm body next to her…holding her. Her eyes snapped open. Body! She realized she should have been back at the camp a while ago. Sitting up and looking around she saw Sessho, next to her, holding her, and around them her friends. Looking ready for battle…

She nudged Sessho. When he would not move she looked up to see he was already awake. He looked down at her sweet face briefly.

Kagome looked out at her friends. "Don't worry. Sessho is good. He won't hurt any of you or me. I promise."

Her friends looked surprised but they put their weapons down. All except for Inuyasha. "You traitor! Of all the people you could have chosen you chose to whore yourself to my brother."

Kagome heard a growl from above her head and she reached back and grabbed Sesshomaru's arms and put them around her waist. "I can assure you, Inuyasha, that nothing inappropriate has occurred between us." She lied, and she felt Sessho tighten his arms around her as if to protect her.

Leaning his head down toward her ear Sessho purred, sending shivers up her spine. Feeling them Sessho growled in her ear. "I have to go now or they're going to figure out just how inappropriate we've been and will be again," feeling another shiver go through her body he purred again and then kissed her shoulder once, quite happy he'd dressed her while she was sleeping.

Still whispering in her ear he told her to watch her back around his brother now. "I'll be with you always. I'll watch over you. Just don't let them know I'm there, alright?"

"Alright." She whispered. He couldn't help it. He kissed her before he jumped into the trees and masked his sent.

Kagome took a deep, fortifying breath before she turned back to her friends, ready to face the whole lot of them.


End file.
